I’m Believing

April Sliwak
Founder of Her Life Speaks
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Growing up I was independent, inventive, and competitive. These may sound like equipping traits to have and, in my case, they were necessary to be in the game and show face. I grew a “hard shell” on the outside stemming from what was on the inside; hurt, shame, abuse, abandonment and isolation. I didn’t want anyone or need anyone, a lie I believed. So my “I’m okay” attitude morphed into my pride of autonomy.

I was disconnected and didn’t make myself vulnerable to ask for what I wanted or
needed. I endured the pain of emptiness and unworthiness by not having solutions,
resources, tools or a mentor. My pride got in the way of reaching out for help, wise
counsel, and God.
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It takes a lot of work to wear a hard shell camouflaged as a cry for help.
As we rounded the corner of the one year anniversary in a pandemic and legitimate
isolation, I’ve spent a lot of time reading my Bible. I’m thankful for this time as God
showed me many Truths that suddenly saturated my soul and heart like never before
and encouraged me in my journey of healing and restoration from lies I believed.

These truths are:

• Trust is a choice. I can decide to trust again or live in fear. 2 Timothy 1:7
• Hope is in the resurrection. Jesus rose from the dead and crushed Satan. The Accuser who represented all the lies I believed about myself, was overcome by the resurrection; Jesus is my hope. 1 Peter 1:3
• Promises of God. God can’t break his promises. Hebrews 6:18
• The Armor of God. Protects me from head to toe from temptation and deliverance from “evil”. Ephesians 6:10-18
• The Lord’s Prayer. Given by Jesus, to correct and model our prayer life. I am free to ask Our Father for deliverance from evil every day. Matthew 6:9-13

I’ve known these truths well but it’s been in this season that strongholds of disbelief are
breaking. When I let go of my pride and choose to believe and not default to my old way
of thinking, I feel the Holy Spirit moving. There’s a gentle easy feeling. A comfort that
just lets me default to God. And believe Him.

Questions for contemplation:

1. What do you not believe or trust about God? And what would your life look like if you did believe Him?
2. Which Truth, (above), stands out to you? I challenge you to look up the scripture and read it a few times letting God speak to you as he did to me. Write down what he’s saying, your thoughts, your feelings, reactions... Ponder it over.
3. Is there someone with a “hard shell” that you could invite to coffee to bless her with a listening ear and a word of encouragement? Call her today and show her you care. Trust me, it will make a difference.

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